Heaven Does Not Belong to You

Recently, a relative from my paternal family informed me that I cannot get into Heaven because, according to them, I choose not to have a relationship with my violator. The comment did not really deserve a response, but it did garner thoughts for me. People are often quick to either guarantee or not guarantee a seat in Heaven for others as if Heaven belongs to them.

You see, I have completed all of the necessary heart work, allowing me to move about in my life freely— such as choosing to forgive my violators to free myself, confronted my violator— when they chose not to acknowledge the harm and damage they caused, I made a very conscious decision to move about with my life in peace instead of merely existing. Forgiveness frees you from all obligations, including relationships.

” Forgiveness frees you from all obligations, including relationships.”


Very often, I wonder if people who believe others will not get into Heaven, really believe they themselves will. Will God not judge you for being fully aware of the antagonistic behaviors, sexual trauma, infidelity, incest, and many other deplorable acts that take place front and center of your presence, yet you turn a blind eye and deaf ear to?

What makes you think your condoning of such behaviors will guarantee your seat? As an elder, is it not your duty to address such issues? Are you not supposed to provide protection for the youth, not only in your family, but also for those you know have the potential to be in harms way?

How are you any less harmful than the individuals who harmed people physically? Are you aware of the fact that just as words have power, so too do the lack of words. When you sit in your seat of judgment, idly and elect to judge the victims rather than the violators— are you not the one who should be questioning your own Heavenly seat?

Newsflash! Heaven does not belong to you. You don’t get to decide who gets a ticket and who doesn’t; you are not God and he does not need your assistance. Work on cleansing your own heart and leave the Heavenly decision-making to God.

While you are cleansing your own heart, stop victim-shaming! Stop requesting those who have been victimized to forget their experiences, while uplifting their trangressors. Those are the experiences they have lived, and the journey they have traveled, in their very own shoes, not yours. More listening, less judgment, please.

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